i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
