whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
