five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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