I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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