I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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