it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
