So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
