he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
