This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
