so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
