Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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