I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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