Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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