If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
