even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
