I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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