we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
