OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize