I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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