I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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