Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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