wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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