i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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