Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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