i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
