I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
