I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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