did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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