If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
