Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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