nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
