never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
