The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
