At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
