brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
