No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
