I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize