Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
