Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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