i just google imaged poop.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
