the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize