if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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