So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
