Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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