White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
