Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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