The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
