Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i dont even know how to be here
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize