my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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