dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
