I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
