Is it because I queefed?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
