At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
