I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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