I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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