how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
