She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
