she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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