yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
