Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
