i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
