no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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